If you are in your thirties (or close to it), you may recall the choose-your-own adventure books. I loved those books. Today, I'm offering a choose-your-own version of my life.
Yesterday, Fritz had a noon appointment at Walter Reed to see how his mouth was doing. His surgeon had told me that he would not be there, but he hoped the results of the biopsy would be done by then. A nurse had told me the results would take ten days, so, excusing any doctors who may be reading this (ahem...Catholic Mom), I didn't really expect to have any definite answers at his check-up.
Nonetheless, I was extremely anxious about taking him. I honestly did not want to go. The desire to figuratively crawl back into bed and bury my head under the covers was barely checked by that logical part of me that knows such actions are pointless. Cysts in the mouth do not go away all by themselves. Pretending that there was no problem wasn't going to make it all better.
My friend watched the middle three kids while Fritz, Pete and I went for a ride. Walter Reed is about 27 miles from my house, but half those miles are through the city streets of DC with traffic lights and pedestrians. On good days/times, the drive takes about 50 minutes. The agony of this commute just heightened my nervous mood.
We got there and tried to find a spot in the parking deck.
Here's where you choose:
If you are an atheist or an agonostic, go here.
If you believe in a Higher Power, but don't really think that this HP has much to do with our daily lives, go here.
If you believe in an all-powerful Creator who holds you in the palm of His hand, feels the suppressed sob within your sorrowful chest, knows how much salt is in the tear you wipe from your eye, and loves you with an everlasting love, go here.
Note: all these versions tell the same basic story. There's just more of "me" in each successive link.